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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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 about
Amanda, 130794vanilla addict,songwriter and romantic. i live for God,i live for music, i live for love,and i live for life i love navy blue and the smell of new books maybe our hearts are meant to be intertwined Exits
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Sunday, January 24, 2010
well,yesterday was a heck of a day for me. experienced the sinking feeling of disappointment,yet again. the irony was, the day before yesterday(friday) i was telling isa that if i am seriously thinking of doing what i want to do, disappointment and rejection are two things that happen almost all the time and that i don't think i can handle much of that. and boom. disappointment. the next day. is it a joke or what? i don't want to be sore or bitter about it cos all it will do is make me feel worse,and not better. its just sad to see people get disappointed time and time again,and have no expectancy and hope. but i think its really all in the difference in perspective.i just don't want to think of it so much and tell myself that 'oh ,it really shouldn't happen to me.its not fair.'and stuff like that,even though i sorta thought like that for awhile. but you know what,even though i'm saying this by faith, i'm going to keep going. does it hurt?yes. do i doubt what i've been doing?maybe. i can't say no. on a slightly lighter note, someone i really respect sent me an sms that really encouraged me,and i replied, 'no I won't give up, it's way too early'. yep,its way too early.  You're stuck on me and my laughing eyes I can't pretend though I try to hide I like you. I think I felt my heart skip a beat I'm standing here and I can hardly breathe You got me. The way you take my hand is just so sweet And that crooked smile of yours it knocks me off my feet Oh, I just can't get enough How much do i need to fill me up? It feels so good it must be love It's everything that I've been dreaming of. I give up. I give in. I let go. Lets begin. Cuz no matter what I do, Oh my heart is filled with you. Friday, January 22, 2010
 Saturday before the sun is up I'm out the door and on my way I Catch the two and then the thirty five And by six fifteen I'm on the train Thrity miles till the final stop And still I have to walk a few more By the time I finally reach your garden's gate I have nineteen steps till I'm at your door And oh I'm afraid To finally be with you And when I see your face I know that There ain't nothing strong enough to keep me away from you There can be a wall of fire ten feet or higher I would just walk on for you Where there once was only room for one Wherever there will be two That's why I drive alone all this way for you To you For you  this is for one of my favourite friends everr, PAIGE LIM(: happy 16th girl! you are one of the craziest,most outrageous, fun and spontaneous things that has ever happened to me. thankyou for the many heart to heart chats,bus rides,camwhoring sessions,movie dates,counselling sessions,boytalk,and shopping dates. i've known you for 5 years and i still love you, Awesome (: Thursday, January 21, 2010
 in these, deep city lights. A girl could get lost tonight i'm finding every reason to be gone, there's nothing to hold on to could i hold you? if confidence,self belief and whatever 'i can do it' stuff i have in me could be measured by a battery, i think mine's flat, many times over. i know its only week three but everything seems so overwhelming, i don;t have time for myself, can't watch tv,need to study, need to just collapse and sleep cos i'm so tired, still need to do stuff that i don't really want to do because i am responsible for it and yadayadayada. its just hard.to sum it up. i just need to find myself, current;y i just feel lost in all of this craziness i always ask myself 'why are you so weak?why can't you tolerate and cope with more like everyone else?' and you know, stuff along this line. i'm just tired of people telling me what to do,how to do,and all the reasoning of where why how and when. i just don't want to reason now,period. i don't know if i sound like an angsty,ranting teen,hope not. but i'm not just frustrated,i'm just really tired. and uninspired. and i just need a break. a break from all the fricking things that are happening. its like one thing after another. maybe to others it isn't a big deal but if you don't know already, stress management isn't my thing i know people say its ok to be overwhelmed and all,but really, i don't want to be. who am i to kid,its only the start of the year. i don't really want any 'are you ok's after this post,just felt that i needed to let it out. well, i know that Rain Don't Last Forever(: Love that song by Hope. God,give me strength and sorry if i was a beech this few days. Saturday, January 16, 2010
haven't been updating,as usual . have been SO BZ! buziness level as of this few weeks: CRAZY. tests come almost everyday. from tues to thur this week, i'm having tests everyday(for those 3 consecutive days) from monday to friday i'm PACKED with something everysingleday. roar!but well, its sec four life right? wellwell. andddd.... we are gonna get our own chc building! yay(: when it was announced ystd during svc i was estatic! to have a building in the marketplace,for the marketplace, to penetrate the marketplace Thursday, January 7, 2010
empire state of mind week one of school is coming to an end,and oh man,school. tests already coming up next week,the following week and the following week. a and e math CAs back to back this coming thursday. OMG.STUDDDYYY! :p YOG songwriting comp semi finalists have not been announced,yet. wonder when they will release them...hoping. checked out the YOG webbie and Ken Lim and Taufik are among the judges, GASP. American Idol's starting next wed!can't wait. i know i haven't really been updating coz well,when you're dumped with lots of things to do, you sort of temporarily forget your laptop's existance. O level chinese results are coming out next monday,and the sec fours of 09 will be receiving their O Level results. all the best! nervous for the chinese results!!! i still feel unused to it,being in sec 4,feels, unfamiliar and abit intimidating. it feels wierd to hear terms like 'prelims' ,'intensive revision', 'block periods' and other o level related conotations being used, but what to do, its 2010! and i've just got to do it (: Sunday, January 3, 2010
hellooo, finally back to write something on the blog. well tmr will be the start of the new( and final) school year in secondary school! it's going to be my o level year and i'm really going to need to pull up my socks for my studies! i was telling some of my friends that i still am not used to it, saying January(and remembering that it is) coz it still kinda feels like december! felt inspired by a text message that i got on new year's day 'the old has passed, and the new has come' and i'm just believing,and hoping for greater things(: i know it will be an unpredictable year,and it'll be quite a ride.don't know what it'll be like(thus, unpredictable) but,2010,i hope you'll be my best year yet. |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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